Realizing

If you know me, you know I am not good at foreseeing/preparing emotionally for the future. For some reason, until I am there, I really can't get myself to realize what is coming up.  Also, I HATE change.  I really don't like not knowing for sure what's coming up.

This has been proved true again with the whole moving-to-Kentucky-thing.  For some reason, it hasn't sunken in that I will be moving to another state in less than 3 weeks.  It also hasn't nearly sunken in that I will begin studying in a dream program of mine in less than 3 weeks.  

See, I knew that I had a month and a half from leaving Chris in Louisville to moving there myself.  I knew that this was the time to fit in all the visits from friends, beach time and family time that I could.  Different excitements have distracted me from acknowledging the move.  First, my lil brother went off to FSU...  So that was a roller coaster of emotions in itself.  Then, my friend Kirsten came home from DC before starting law school in a month.  After having a cyber/phone friendship for the year, we could hang out!!  Also, I got the new love of my life, miss Annabelle!  She seriously has been just a package of joy for me! Next, my sorority little, Amanda came to visit me this weekend.  We had the most amazing weekend (which I'm sure to blog about in a bit), but it was after her leaving that it sunk in the huge change that's about to happen... I began realizing not only am I just moving to KY for school, but that I am moving for the love of my life and will soon be marrying him.  Although I am beyond ecstatic to marry him, these goodbyes and last slumber parties that I'm having with my girlfriends may not be just for this move, but in preparation for getting married, a whole new and very different world from the one I lead. 

So, stresses about financing this move/school, planning a wedding from afar, moving away from my family that needs/loves me being home, saying goodbye to seeing my close friends as frequently and most importantly, the BEACH, has all hit me last night and this morning. Mostly though, the fact that my familiar network of friends, family, church, coffee places, relaxing places, gym, run routes are all about to change.  I'm going to have to get real good at phone communication to keep up the friendships I hold most dear because our weekly or monthly visits might be spaced out a bit more.  

So thanks little for being such a high that the crash allowed all this :) 

Just from writing this I feel more at ease, confident and excited about that scary future.