Already but not yet

Lent, the Cross, Atonement; all of this is hard for me to fully grasp.  Sometimes I feel as if i have it and sometimes I feel scared that I feel so lost in it that it may not be real (key word there is "feel").  Chris and I came home last night after our Good Friday service and I was a ball of emotions- 

my heart was heavy that my Christ willingly died on the cross for my sins.

I was feeling confused as to why he chose to do so.

I was feeling overjoyed with the firm reality I knew in my salvation was bought and paid for.

I was irritable that Chris couldn't come inside of my mind and figure all of this out for me.  

I was confused as to what I felt- today represented when my Lord hung from a tree to pay for my sins, but at the same time it represented my salvation is paid for.  The brightest and the darkest of events...

 Praise be to our Lord that he is unwaivering in his attributes!  The Lord is not confusing and does not withhold his truths from us.   We came home and Chris pulled out his Systematic Theology book and we read and charted and put the truths we knew into the full story of what this day was about.  We know and believe our God is fully good and fully righteous.  He is love and he delights in bringing us joy.  We need to be in fellowship with him to experience true joy, but left to our own, our sin would separate us from the Lord.  So our God sent himself in the form of the Father's son to live a life without sin and then to die a death we deserve to make a way for us to be in full communion with him.  In this death, he himself experienced the separation from the Father that sin results in and the wrath that the sin caused.  Once he had experienced what was needed, he himself gave up his spirit.  

Even though we have a way to communion with God, we still live in a fallen world and we are still sinners.  This leads me to the "already but not yet".  We have salvation- we can sense the goodness of God in life- a beautiful spring day, the love of Chris, Annabelle's adorable self, fun deep friendships.  But in the midst of this joy, there is still unfathomable suffering in this world that weighs on my heart- anxiety about work, broken friendships, fleeting pleasures of this world.  We are not yet in a sinless world where everything has been made new.  I want to realize it is ok, even good for me to acknowledge the brokeness  and hurt in this world, both in my life and others.  I think this should put a groan in my heart to long for the time when Christ will dwell with us- when all things are redeemed and made new.  

The Lord has been gracious to slowly teach me more about his ways and his being during this time of lent.  My prayer is my feelings would not dictate my thoughts about our Lord but rather the truths of Him that the spirit allows me to store in my heart.  I am eagerly awaiting the celebration of Easter  tomorrow! What a God we serve.

It is finished.

He is risen!

Checking in

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Mom visits!

We decided to begin a new tradition this year: mom will come visit the weekend before thanksgiving!!

We began it this Novemeber and it was convienintly a weekend Chris went to West Virginia to hang with Ryan and Andy for the weekend. 

Mom and I had the best weekend together- we started Friday off with taking pictures for Pure Barre, followed by a yummy meal at Ghyslain.

On Saturday we crafted all day long! It was heavenly! Mom brought a Scan n Cut machine (which is a laser paper cutter) so we planned on crafting with that all day, but she forgot to bring the mat that accompanies it... So we had to go to plan B which involved mom getting me my very first embroidery machine!!!! We spent the day with her showing me how to use it while making baby Colton and Baby Jack Christmas presents! I also made Jenna and Jared a wedding present. We watched Parenthood while we sewed and we laughed and bawled all night long.  

On Sunday, we crafted some more, and then when Chris got home, mom took our picture for our Christmas card. 

After the perfect picture was captured, we went to Sojourn for the evening service and then went to Four Pegs for dinner.

 The next morning she left to fly back to PC.... Saying goodbye is always awful. I absolutely hated watching my mom leave... It always brings up the issue of where Chris and I see ourselves living once he's done with airforce. We'd like to not have to ever say goodbye to either set of parents, but being from two different hometowns that will be impossible. I am thankful to have a mom I love so much that saying goodbye is hard and I'll try to cling to that blessing and not focus on the sadness it brings.

Highlights of September

My excuse for not blogging in 3 months is literally to many fun things have been happening.   We've been lucky to get home, unpack and wash our clothes in time for the next fun thing,  No complaints here, as the Lord has blessed us with a season of fun and friends!

September started with us at DISNEY WORLD with Chris's awesome family.  We all stayed in the "treehouse" cabin that his parents rented and it was so much fun to be with everyone for a long weekend.  I felt like the bonding time was extra rich and relaxed because we didn't have to worry about plans or who we were going to see next.  We were all there together and it didn't really matter what we did.  We ended up taking advantage of the non-park attractions.  We saw Planes at Downtown Disney, we went bowling at Downtown Disney, we spent the day in these the awesome resort's pool, we ate at yummy restaurants, and the last night, we surprised his parents with renting a boat for the family to go watch the fireworks.  We had snacks and drinks on board.  Cindy and Dave were caught completely off guard and were SO excited! Loved being able to give to them and celebrate their 30+ year marriage.  

Night time swimming is the best! Greyson was showing us how
he can now put his head underwater and blow bubbles!

Momma and her boys after our fireworks cruise!
She did good!

The next weekend was the Seminary Fall Festival.  It is one of our favorite times in Louisville.  All our friends from group and church are there, free food, and fun people watching- what's not to love?!  

Sweet Friends

Also during September, Jenna went to Pure Barre training, so there was some practicing with her.  I'm so SO so excited she's going to be an instructor!

Getting our Warm Up on!

Then the Birthday Festivities started.  Chris started the Birthday week with taking me to Bistro 1860- a cute, newly redone restaurant not a half mile from our home.  It's menu is all tapas type items so we spent the night ordering new foods, drinks, and enjoying each others company.  I am so unbelievably grateful for a husband that I genuinely have the most fun with.  This night left me with such joy.  

Dessert is always the best.

My handsome date and I.

That weekend, mom and Hal came into town!  We had the best time with them trying out restaurants, going to Makers distillery, experiencing Sojourn, and just hanging out.  They overly blessed me on my birthday.  My mom brought up all of the jewelry that I had been given as a little girl, but that she held on to until I was ready to assume responsibility for it, so it was fun to go through different charms my grandparents gave me at different times.  They also got me a new phone (those of you who know me know my old one had been cracked for the entire 2+ years I'd had it..), and new bedding for Chris and I's bed!  Also, Hal made a huge pot of his Brunswick stew for Chris.  Chris and his friends enjoyed that stew for awhile.  

Beautiful Family!

My beautiful annabelle helped sing to me :)

Later that week we also had a friends B-Day celebration... 26 was brought in strong :)

My Louisville Family!

The next weekend, the Millers came!!  Chris's old roomate from FSU, (and probably the reason Chris and I met) Josh and his lovely Bride Sarah came up for the weekend.  We went to a new distillery, 4 Roses, then watched the FSU game.  Sunday we went to Sojourn, then Brunch at Toast.  

Boys will be Boys....

The whole gang at 4 Roses

 September was a whirl-wind, but nothing like October.  We'll see if I can get October posted about before Christmas.  So many fun times that I want to remember!

Monterey

Our trip to Monterey was blissful. Although we had a rough agenda of things we wanted to see and places we wanted to go, we were excited to find fun new activities or places to explore. The entire trip I felt like we were kids on a treasure hunt!  Every hour of each day we found the “treasure chest”: a new cool view we had hiked to, making eye contact with a sea otter in the wild, a charming Italian restaurant that enclosed us with a homey romantic ambiance.  

A lot has happened!!

In My absence of blogging, here are all of the fun things that have happened:

Dad and Susan came to visit for the weekend:

We've had lots of fun times at Pure Barre: 

We had to say good-bye to our good friends, Chris and Heather.  They moved to New Jersey to serve Chris's home church. 

Jenna and I ran in the Color Run!

Najja and I went to a painting class!

Jenna and I talked Chris and Jaren into coming to Pure Barre! They died and it was awesome!

We had a work social at the Louisville Zoo.

We celebrated Annabelle's 2nd Birthday

Had a community group picnic at the park.

It's been a fun fun few months!

Summertime Thoughts

I love summer.  It brings no true schedule changes for me personally, but it seems that other's change in schedule rubs off on me.  Maybe it's because of the long days... But there seems to be more time for slow mornings, fun nights with friends, engagements, new babies, exciting trips, seeing old friends, evening walks with Annabelle, all the good things in life.  

We're in a blessed season- we have been in Louisville for 2 years now and I feel comfortable and happy.  Last night over dinner with friends, it came up that the boys are over half way done with school... We have 2 years left in this amazing city.  I feel like I'm in college starting Junior year and getting anxiety about having to graduate.  

I'm ready to soak up the last months of summer and the last half of our time in dental school, but I want it to slow down so I can fully grasp and enjoy these moments.